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I’ll call you Tyler so I won’t publicly embarrass you. Do you think that talking to me after fucking me over is the ideal thing? Saying that you’ve changed and you are a good hearted gentleman? I do not agree sunny boy

You first decide to cheat on me barely 2 weeks in our relationship with a girl who probably has the worst reputation at school. You ask for forgiveness right after the fact and not even apologize in person. I looked beyond all your overloading flaws and decided to accept you apology and give you another chance. You shortly decide that I’m not worth it anymore and decide to break up with me because I didn’t put out and decided you wanted to get shit-faced and hook up with desperate people just like yourself. 

You acknowledge me the day at school after that, and the next day and the next day, but no words. BUT YES. you decide to hide behind your screen every day asking me if i was okay. If you were truly concerned about the way I felt, you would grow some big boy balls come up to me and ask me in person. 

The weekend after the break up, we go to the same event “OVERMIND” and my plan was to hurt you like the way you hurt me. Got so shit-faced because i wanted to let go of the feelings i had of hurt and got so wasted that I barely remembered what happened. I remembered, crying, seeing you and pushing you with my whole weight back, and while making out with a guy- -giving you a middle finger right in the face. Awh, poor baby, that night you went to cry to your friends saying what i did was a bitch move and how i broke your precious little heart. grow the fuck up, and take a dose of your own medicine. 

Weeks pass on, you not talking to me in person and online like the pussy you are. I went to a club with the guy i was seeing Max (made up name—the guy i hooked up at OVERMIND) and a couple of friends. I get shit-faced again, and I see you. I ignore you and go to my table. you come over with your goddam sorry face and ask to talk. I first was hesitant, but then decided to see what you had to say… You pulled me aside and you said you missed me, you’re intensions were to hook up cause I assume no one wanted to hook up with a desperate fuck like you. I couldn’t hear you well so I suggested to move to a more quite place, we sit down and you hold my waist and say you miss me and that you love me. At that time I wanted to believe that you were sorry, and that you meant everything you were saying, but you didn’t.  I looked straight into your eyes and said I don’t love you. and you said, yes you do yes you do I know you do. We argued about how I was lying to you but the whole time you were lying to me about how you did love me. “How could you cheat on someone you love?” “I was drunk”, I tried moving away, you kept on pulling me down pulling me towards you and asking me to be with you again, cause you knew i still loved you. I honestly didn’t know if I did or didn’t. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to believe a word you said anymore. I walked away while you were left their with your fake tears of shame.

After this emotional night, you write me on facebook telling me that you meant everything and how you loved me, after i rejected you and told you i was still hurt about the cheating. You took back everything back and said you didn’t mean anything. I REVOLTED at this, and didn’t understand why you couldn’t be a man, and just mean what you feel and stand up for it. Long story short, you told me you loved me when I was nice to you and took every thing back when I told you I didn’t believe a word you said. 

You then tell me you’re concerned about my wellbeing, telling me that I was your first love— yes a relationship that lasted barely a month, and that you still love me but doesn’t want to be with me— to be still does not make any sense.  You then would say these inappropriate things such as “oh i see, that sucks, should have done basketball, we could have snuck out an fucked”. Do you really say that to a girl you cheated on and someone you had respect for. A person in your situation should be on your knees begging for forgiveness, not telling me we should have had sex 5 months after we broke up. you’re not a gentleman, you’re a desperate horn dog. 

THEN, couple days after valentines day you ask me if I’m still with my boyfriend. I say no. Surpringly you kept on talking to me falling me beautiful.  Meanwhile I would see you every day at school and you would not even say hi. I wonder if the only reason i kept on forgiving for the actions and shit you say was because i wanted you to actually be sorry.On feb 28th,  I had this feeling in my chest, like my chests were going in, I wanted to talk to you.  I wrote you and asked you if you wanted to grab coffee, you agreed, and we met up. We talked like we never broke up, or nothing ever happened between us, we talked like we were best friends allover again and nothing held us apart. You told me you still love me, and you’ll never stop. I told you for the first tim I love you and you smiled. I had to be home before 8, so you walked me down to the metro to get a ticket. You always to this hug where you want to kiss— and I still remembered it after six months of knowing you. I could’t resist and decided to kiss you back. We go on kissing waiting for the metro and all my emotions come back again, and i swear I was the happiest girl alive.

For the next day, i kept it chill and didn’t talk to you or anything. My friend invited me out and you just happened to be there. I sit down right in front of you at a long table. the night goes on and you randomly make-out with the girl beside you right infront of me. gentleman like? isn’t it? I decide to leave and you said you wouldn’t want to go anywhere without me. The night  continues, filling my lungs full of smoke. When almost everyone leaves you rap your arms around me from the back and start kissing my neck, i pull your arms off me and walk away. Couldn’t even look at you. you’re just plain disgusting. 

About a month or two later, after your lectures about how single life is amazing, and you don’t want to get close to anyone before you go back home you get with the girl you’ve been using for the past 6 months… This is probably the worst decision I ever made and will not make ever again. But I was so insulted that you would be with her and not me after how MUCH i gave to you. You talked to me a night before spring break and started talking shit about your girlfriend, how i was such a better kisser, and how she didn’t get him like I did. He admitted to me he would break up with her after break. I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to see if he was the guy who cheated on me or the guy who would cheat on anyone. He invited me to his house a friday when his parents were not home. went over his house while he had a girlfrend- hugged me and we started hooking up- the night goes on with him trying to have sex with me- forcing me to do things I did not want to do. After the spark was over I left his house, and did not regret my decision on doing the thing I did because I finally realized he was an asshole, not just to me but to everyone.

Right when I got home you write  me and tells me that if i tell anyone you’ll never talk to me ever again.. I was so insulted by what you said. DO you really say that after what just happened. everything concluded that you were an asshole. I’m glad that I saw it then. I decided it was best to tell his girlfriend about what happens because I would want to know, and obviously he wouldn’t be the kind of man who would have the balls to do that. I tell her and she thanks me for the honestly. out of curiousity i ask her what she’s going to do. She tells me she’s going to ask you if you cheated on her with me, she did and you DENY IT?  i have solid fucking proof of what we did and you go ahead and LIE FUCKING LIE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. WHAT A MAN. 

I blocked you on fb because it was the easiest thing to do stop being so angry at myself. Today you talked to me which made me want to write this post. our

me:  why are we talking? i thought you were gonna stop talking to me after i told anybody what happened.

him: yeah i was but idk i wanna end with u on a good note

me:ending on a good note would mean you sticking to what you say. why did you deny everything to your gf?

him: what u mean

me: why did you lie to ******?

him: cuz i didnt want to lose her, i like her alot

me: which is why you cheated on her with me? wise wise man. it makes sense cause when you’re in love you cheat on people

him: i was being stupid

me: no kidding, i’m glad you realized it.

him: yeah

me: does she know the truth now?

him: no i cant tell her, im not going to, its in the past.

me: awesome, then you obviously really like her. i thought you wanted to be the best honest truthworthy boyfriend.

him: i will tell her after prom

me: you don’t have the balls do you? you’re just postponing the event.

him: i dont want to get all excited about prom and do all this stuff to make it up to her just to fall short when she finds out and trust me besides that one thing i have been an angel to  her its not about sex with her i am a perfect gentlemen

me: HAHAA MY ASS.

him: i know in my head that im doing everything to make it up to her,  u can disagree

me: i blocked you for a reason on facebook and that was for you to not talk to me anymore. you hurt me, i’m over the situation, you’re not a gentleman nor a good person. so stop convincing youself otherwise. you’re leavng ***** and everyone will remember you as the desperate person you are.

him: thats highly debatable, but okay, so this is goodbye, its going to end like this?

me: our goodbye was a long time ago whe you decided to break my heart.

him: okay you werent the perfect angel either okay, gosh blaming everyone for their faults when u never even recognize your own, but okay bye ******

me: stop it

him: know u think im talking out of my ass, but i really am sorry, i really am

me: NOOOOO, you are not, at all

him: i know i am not perfect

me: stop bullshitting me

him: i do

me: no

himi: im not

me: you would come up to me, be a man, and tell me in person and you don’t, you’re a pussy

him: okay well how am i suppose to do that, i will come to your house this weekend if you want, okay? is that what u want, i will do that, i will apologize, and then we can part ways and never talk again, i dont care, im just not a coward nor a bad person

me: talk to me at after you talked to ******* about what happened, and that will be when i believe you

him: okay, and i will tell her in person, u will see, okay deal, im not good enough for you jasmine

me: i know you’re not

him: from a lot of girls actually

me: im over you, i don’t anymore…. why do you think i’ve stopped talking to you?

him: but im not a bad person

me:  you are a bad person

him: so you know me now, u no what i have been through, stuff, knowing your depression, would make u kill urself in a week,  stuff that i had to go through for 5 years,  stuff i had to be the man of the house for since i was 11 years old with no male role model

me:: stop talking about this, stop acting like a victum

him: protecting my mom and dad from dying in multiple occassions,  you dont know fucking shit about me, nobody does, so fuck you

me:i’ve heard all your shit from the first datte, so yeah i know everything. you never say you know me, you’ve told me i million times,  okay if i dont know you sotp talking to me.

him: u think i told u important shit

me: leave me alone

me: byee

and how he’s blocked me… 

Lesson learned: don’t date younger guys, don’t forgive someone after they’ve cheated/hurt you and don’t let someone back into your life when they least deserve to.